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Too Old to Recover?
Question:
I am 31 years old and have been struggling with anorexia for the
last 12 years of my life. I've been in the hospital 6 times over
the years. But despite all the therapy, I absolutely don't want
to gain weight. The only reason I'm concerned about it is because
my family constantly bringing up my weight and my eating habits.
I'm sick of it and so are they. I've basically given of hope of
having a normal life. Can someone like me ever get over it? What's
the solution? How long will it take?
Answer:
I wish I could give you simple answers to your questions, "Can
someone like me ever get over it? What's the solution? How long
will it take?". At The Renfrew Center, we have seen women of
all ages, who have had eating disorders for varying lengths of time,
make the changes that have allowed them to live interesting and
satisfying lives. We do know many things that promote recovery from
eating disorders, but there is no basic solution that works for
everyone. I believe that it is possible for you to conquer your
eating disorder, but I don't know how long that might take or whether
you will make the changes that will allow you to succeed.
Some say the solution to anorexia is "Just eat!" but
years of therapy, including hospitalizations and a family focus
on weight and eating have not changed your commitment to an anorexic
weight. I am wondering what issues and feelings are connected to
your involvement with anorexia. It is very sad to hear that you
have given up on having a normal life and I think this is a mistake.
What are your other interests, dreams and goals? Are you pursuing
them? What inspires you? What gets in your way? Perhaps you and
your family and your therapist could focus on these questions as
well as on your health.
My hope is that as you become more and more invested in developing
a more fulfilling life, you will recognize that anorexia is blocking
your growth. I recommend that you use psychotherapy to help you
find healthier solutions to the problems which you have been handling
with anorexia so that you can have the life you really want. So
often I have observed that as someone discovers what really matters
to her or him, having health and energy become much more important
than a number on a scale.
Please don't give up! You and your dreams are worth fighting for.
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