My Dad Teases Me About My Weight

Question:

I have had a problem with my self-image for a long time. I find myself trying to stay on a good diet and really trying to lose some weight, but my father kids around alot about my weight When he does, I just say screw it and eat a lot and then vomit to make myself feel better. I feel guilty and discouraged all the time. What should I do to try and not take all the kidding so literally?

Answer:

Weight or body-focused teasing is not really funny or fun. It may not be intended to be hurtful, but it usually is. There are probably many reasons why you have developed problems with self-image, guilt and feeling discouraged, but it sounds like your father's teasing is very distressing and triggers your bulimic symptoms. I recommend that you address this situation in two ways: 1) Reaching out for support for your feelings and reactions to your father's teasing and 2) when you are ready, talking with your father about how his kidding affects you .

You may be able to protect yourself by changing your interpretation and reaction to your father's teasing, but I think it is also important to take your experience of teasing seriously. To continue reaching out for support and validation, talk with trusted friends and/or family members. Your school nurse or counselor may also be a resource or be able to help you find a professional in your community for you to talk with, or you can call 1-800-RENFREW, during business hours to request a referral in your area.

On the worldwide web, websites such as Body Positive and Body Image Health have helpful information about improving body image . The Dads and Daughters website, is a resource emphasizing the importance and impact of fathers in their daughters' lives. Other sites such as Giving Adolescents a Fighting Chance Against Eating Disorders identify the link between teasing and eating disorders.

Most fathers love their children the best they can and do not want to hurt them. Indeed, fathers can be a very valuable source of support in so many different ways. Your father, like many men, may not be aware of how sensitive and complex body image issues are for females in our culture. Thus he probably does not realize the pain his kidding causes. I hope that you find a way to talk with your father both about his teasing and about your struggle with self-image, eating problems and feeling discouraged and that he will be able to help you with all of these issues.