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Handling the Holidays
Question:
As the holidays approach I find myself spending more time freaking
out about food and the amount I eat or don't eat more accurately.
Like since Halloween I find myself constantly belittling myself
for eating 1 piece of candy. It only gets worse as the holiday season
is officially upon us. I was wondering if you have any tips as how
not to slip into a relapse and still be able to be around food?
I know for me the holidays is the hardest time to deal with food
issues. Any advice would be appreciated.
Answer:
You are not alone in having an especially difficult time with food
issues around the holidays. So many holiday celebrations include
foods or even focus on food and this can intensify food issues and
eating problems.
The holiday season involves stress in many aspects of life. Just
to list a few there are family issues such as who will host events
and who will or won't come, who will and won't be or feel recognized
and appreciated, substance abuse behaviors and their consequences,
conflicts that arise when families gather and the reminder of the
losses of the preceding year or years. Friendships or romantic relationships
may also be more stressful as people struggle with the meanings
of their connection, how much time or money to spend, what to expect
from one another and how to express these feelings. There are performance
or competition issues - from decorating houses or cookies to annual
bonuses - and appearance concerns for the increased socializing
of the season. For students there is the stress of the end-of-semester
crunch of papers and exams. The many images of "perfect"
holidays can make anyone feel inadequate. For women who are trying
to be "super-women", the goal of doing everything well
in both the realm of achievement and the realm of relationships
may feel especially impossible with the extra demands of the holiday
season.
One way of understanding eating problems is to view them as coping
mechanisms which help a person to manage emotional challenges or
stresses. My guess is that there are issues in your life that are
particularly stressful at holiday time. Freaking out about food
or criticizing yourself for enjoying a holiday treat, painful as
it is, may
take the focus away from other painful concerns.
I suggest that you first to try to connect with yourself and understand
what is going on in your life that is stressful for you in this
holiday season. Think about how you can make this holiday your own.
What do you want to celebrate? How do you want to celebrate? Who
do you want to share these experiences with? I encourage you to
reach out for support in dealing with the things that are upsetting
you and developing realistic plans which include your tastes and
needs.
If you find yourself worrying about food, ask yourself, what else
is worrying me? How can I take care of myself in this moment? Prepare
a list of favorite ways to comfort and nurture yourself and ask
trusted friends what works for them. Try to be accepting and forgiving
of your imperfections and mistakes, and cultivate a sense of humor.
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