Doing It On My Own

Question:

I was also wondering if you could tell me about how long I'd have to be there if I opted to go. I do very well in school and my grades are exrtremely important to me but if I miss class I get behind. I also have serious comittments to my music ministry, youth group, and several other activities. Would I be able to go to church at least on Sundays? There are so many things to consider when seeking inpatient therapy, and I wonder if the problem is so bad that it would be worth it to go, but weekly counseling alone doesn't seem to help.

Thank you very much.

Answer:

Here is a brief response, a few thoughts about some of your questions. I also suggest that you also call The Renfrew Center (1-800-RENFREW, Mon-Fri, 9-5 EST, ask for Program Information) to find out about arrangements for attending church and other details of participation in the residential program.

It is good to hear that you love working with your therapist. Having a good connection with your therapist will help you do the hard work required in dealing with, and healing from an eating disorder. If you are able to do the work you need to do in therapy and take good enough care of yourself, and make progress in the battle against your eating disorder symptoms, then it may not be necessary for you to consider a higher level of care such as residential treatment at The Renfrew Center if that does not appeal to you. You seem to be saying that what you are doing now is not enough and that you need something more.

Sometimes not wanting to talk with family members and other people is appropriate, however, often it is a way of isolating from relationships and a symptom of an eating disorder. You may be able to address this issue on an outpatient basis by including family members or other people important to you in your therapy sessions or by working with a separate family therapist. Having worked in the residential program of The Renfrew Center, I have seen many women overcome their desire to "recover alone" and risk using the support of the therapeutic community to face issues and grow more than they ever thought possible. I know that residential treatment can speed the process of recovery and when I recommend it to someone I am working with, it is because I think it will help them get well faster than they would without the benefit of an intensive program.

I hope you and your therapist will continue to explore the issue of wanting to do it alone and find ways to connect with and be supported by other people in your life in ways that are right for you as an individual.