Some Ideas About Recovery

Question:

I realize that this is a question that probably has no answer. I have been anorexic since childhood (at that time it was just a word, there was no treatment, etc). This past summer I really bottomed out with it and went to inpatient treatment for the first time. I was there for 30 days and the treatment team suggested another 30-60 day stay. Treatment is buisness after all and since I didn't have the finances for an extended stay, I had to leave. It has been 7 months since I was discharged. I am working with a therapist, nutritionist and psychiatrist, but feel like I am not getting anywhere fast. I haven't been able to gain any weight since my first two weeks in treatment, despite a consistent increase in calories and no exercise. So, my question is how long does recovery take from anorexia? I know there are a lot of variables, and you can't give a definite answer. Some idea would be helpful though. I get really discouraged when I can't really see any progress.

Answer:

You are right that I cannot give you an answer to the question of how long it takes, and as you say, there are many variables involved. What I hope I can do is to help you explore and perhaps expand your idea of progress.

If you are underweight, gaining weight is an important indicator of progress, but it is not the only one. Many people struggling with anorexia, and their families and sometimes even their therapists, become discouraged because of how hard it is to change, how much effort, time and expense it takes, and how the work of eating more, exercising less and participating in therapy may translate into sustained weight gain very slowly or unevenly.

So here are two dimensions of recovery for you to think about:

Eating Experiences: Are you including a greater variety of foods, becoming familiar with and responding to physiological hunger, are you finding any pleasure in eating, do you allow yourself to have the feeling of satisfaction after eating, are you more able to tolerate a feeling of fullness, do you feel more entitled to eat, less anxious about eating, are you relying less on excessive use of gum, coffee, sodas, cigarettes, are you more able to eat in the company of other people?

Knowing and Caring for Yourself: Are you more aware of your feelings, both positive and negative, are you beginning to be able to identify issues or situations that trigger eating disorder thoughts, are you growing more willing to risk reaching out to others to express yourself, to make connections, to ask for support, are you feeling more deserving of life, health, love, are you developing compassion toward yourself, taking better care of yourself (e.g., rest, relaxation), are learning new ways to deal with stress, do you include fun activities in your schedule?

These are long lists and you cannot do it all at once, but I hope that as you review them, you find some areas where you notice growth and change over the past several months. Progress on any one of these is significant in recovery from anorexia, but may not result in immediate weight gain.

Good luck in your continuing recovery.