What am I Doing?
Question:
I am 18 yrs. old and I have just begun a steady workout program.
Because within 2 weeks people started noticing a difference I began
to feel better about myself. I was not overweight but now I am feeling
like I should lose more weight. I eat just not as much as I am used
to. Occasionally I get hungry, but feel guilty about whatever I
put in my mouth. Help, what am I doing?
Answer:
Exercise can be a wonderful part of life, enhancing both physical
and mental health. It sounds as though the natural positive experience
that you may have had within yourself as you began to workout, has
become confused by the reactions of other people.
The myth of our culture is that size is the most important ingredient
of beauty and the key to a positive reaction from others. I wonder
if the change in you that people responded to was a change in size
or a change in vitality, or attitude. It may be that they were reacting
to something about your energy rather than something about your
appearance.
In any case, it is a shame that the positive reactions you have
received from other people do not give you a feeling of happiness
and satisfaction and connectedness. Instead you seem to be beginning
to struggle with eating disorder thinking (for example feeling that
you need to lose weight when you are not overweight, feeling guilty
about whatever you eat). Why not see a therapist or counselor to
get a better understanding of why you are worrying about food, weight
and dieting? It would be wise to address these concerns now and
learn other ways to improve your relationship with yourself and
others before you become reliant on the myth that focusing on your
body is the way to feel better about yourself.
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