Something Happened

Question:

I hope that you can help me. I am in college and it is a terrible struggle for me to get up each morning and go to school. I don't like letting anyone see me because I have gotten so fat. My first year of college is when I gained all of the weight. There was something that happened that year that pretty much sent me into depression. I didn't get out of bed for weeks. It was after that I started to gain weight. In high school I was very small, now I have gained nearly 30 pounds. ANd I know that it is not healthy. I have tried diet and exercise butnothing seems to help. I don't know how I let it get so far ahead of me. I weight myself everyday hoping that the weight has disappeared, even though I know that it has not. I want to be small again so badly and it is so upsetting t me that I can't stand to look at meself in the mirror. It makes me cry to see whatI have become. I wish that you could help me, i do not know what to do anymore.!

A concerned reader

Answer:

I feel sad hearing that something happened to you in your first year of college that got you so depressed that you didn't get out of bed for weeks. Now you are feeling sad about your weight and wishing you were the size you used to be before this happened.

My guess is that underneath, or in addition to, your distress about your weight may be unhappiness about this upsetting event. Perhaps you would like not just to look like the person you were, but also to be the person you were and have your life be the way it was before this something happened in your freshman year. You may feel that you can't change what happened but you can change your weight so you focus on that.

Your concerns about your size seem to be really interfering with your life, making it hard to get up in the morning, tearful when you see yourself in the mirror and uncomfortable being with other people. Have you thought about contacting the counseling center at your school? Many colleges have therapists and support groups and other resources to help students deal with emotional and psychological issues. I think you deserve the attention of a professional to help you understand the relationship between what happened in your freshman year and your body and body image. Psychotherapy can to help you deal with the issues involved so you can get more out of your college experience. I hope you will reach out for help and that you will find the support you need. Good luck!