I Don't Want to Lose Control

Question:

I know I need to eat, all the physical signs are there: dizzy, can't think right, I'm not taking proper care of my family, but I can't/don't want to give up the control and the way this makes me feel. If I ask for help I lose control, if I don't, what? I don't know how to ask, I don't know what to do.

Answer:

I am concerned about you. It sounds as though you need medical attention to assess your physical condition as well as counseling to help you understand what is going on with your not eating.

You say that asking for help means losing control. This is a fear I have heard many times before. My guess is that you feel out of control in other areas of your life and not eating gives you a sense of control. At the same time, this very control of your body's need for nourishment has become so extreme that you are losing your ability to think straight, to keep your balance and to care for your family. It seems as though your search for control is now leading to a loss of control.

I hope you will recognize the price you are paying for not eating before any further medical crisis develops. Please talk with someone you trust about what you are going through and your fears about asking for help.

It is important that you see your doctor and openly discuss what is going on with you so your doctor can understand your condition and help you with it. Also ask for a recommendation to a psychotherapist who specializes in treating eating problems to help you understand what you are doing and learn about healthier skills you could develop and use. If you want someone from The Renfrew Center to contact you, about our services or whether we are aware of eating disorder specialists in your area, please call 1-800-RENFREW (9-5 EST, Mon-Fri).

Please continue to reach out for support.