Not Sure if Being Raped is Related to This
Question:
When September came around this year my parents forced me to go
back to school. The first months of school I spent most of time
trying to hide from the people I new. I didn't want them to see
what I looked like. When I was skinny I was considered one of the
prettiest girls with the great body where ever I went. Within the
second month of school I met a girl. We became great friends we
went out every night. I slept at her house all the time. I was never
home, I started smoking pot and not caring less what other people
thought. The total extreme from the year before.
Now I crashed again. I am very moody and don't go out a alot. I
try to lose weight and for the life of me can't. I know everything
about healthy weight loss. I read books on it like there is no tommorow.
I was raped 2 years ago I was already skinny though. The guy that
raped me loved skinny girls. I am not sure if that has anything
do do with my depression or not being able to lose weight. I am
scared and do not know where to turn. I am 20 years old and all
I want is my life back. I want to be happy. I want to be the weight
I was in highschool. My set point. I am above it. My family has
no money so I can't afford anything that costs. Please can you send
me an e-mail and direct me in what I can do.
Answer:
Rape is a violent assault and traumatic experience. I recommend
to everyone and anyone who has been raped to seek help from someone
who is experienced in counseling victims of sexual assault. In many
communities there are agencies and organizations focused on services
for women who have been victims of rape and other kinds of violence.
You may also want to visit websites related to this issue such as
the page about rape on the Body
Image Betrayal and Related Issues website. Since you like to
learn through reading, perhaps it would be helpful for you to read
books about rape and its consequences to help you recognize what
you may have in common with others who have had similar experiences.
It is painful to hear all the complicated problems you describe
going through these last couple of years: depression, weight gain,
body image shame, pot-smoking, not caring and moodiness. I cannot
know exactly how being raped affected you, but it does seem likely
that your recent struggles may be related to your rape experience.
Many women with eating/body image problems have had traumatic experiences
such as being raped. Being thin or having control of food and weight
issues can seem to be some kind of a solution for the painful and
difficult feelings that people have when they have been violated,
but it does not bring real relief.
You deserve to have the help of a mental health professional to
sort through these issues in person. Most universities offer counseling
to students at little or no cost. If you are away from school in
the summer, check with your local women's organizations, rape crisis
center or community mental health center or talk with your doctor
about what resources might be available in your community.
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