My Friend is Hiding

Question:

i think that my best friend has an eating disorder...she rides a bus so her parents don't see her skip breakfast then at lunch she tells everyone she had a really big breakfast and then at supper she tells her parents that she ate a lot at school...she is not very thin but all she eats is water and wheat crackers everyday - 2 wheat crackers all day and a glass of water! I don't know what to do because of course she denies it!

i don't know what should I do? Pray for me and her!!

Answer:

Your friend’s behaviors severely restricting food intake, lying to hide this from others and denying any problem are common symptoms of anorexia. It sounds as though she needs professional help to address her eating problems, her secrecy and whatever other issues have caused her to put so much of her energy into not eating.

As a caring friend you are very stressed by your friend’s eating problem. For the sake of your relationship, as well as for her well-being, it is important for you to talk about your feelings with your friend and to listen to her when she wants to talk. I suggest that you find a time when you can speak with her in private. Focus on the behaviors you have observed, your concern for her health and your desire to help.

You can learn about eating disorders and treatment resources yourself by looking at the Something Fishy website and you can offer to share this information with your friend. Encourage her to get professional help. If she remains in denial and you feel she is in danger, reach out to an adult who can help you reach your friend such as a school counselor or nurse or her parents.

You cannot make your friend fight her eating disorder, but your concern may plant the seed of her recovery. So often people tell me that it was the persistent caring of friends that led them to finally seek help and begin the healing process.

In the meantime, remember to take care of yourself. Reach out for support when you are distressed. You may benefit from participating in a support group or talking to a counselor yourself. Good luck in dealing with these issues.