He Thinks I'm Perfect
Question:
i DON'T KNOW WHERE TO TURN ANYMORE eVERYONE BELIEVES i AM PERFECT,
BUT i AM TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL. i JUST STARTED TO SEE A WONDERFUL
GUY BUT i WON'T BE ABLE TO TELL HIM ABOUT IT BECAUSE HE THINKS i'M
PERFECT. wHERE DO i TURN?
i DON'T WANT TO DISAPPOINT EVERYONE AGAIN.
Answer:
The feeling of being perfect or being seen as perfect can be exhilarating
but it doesn't last and for you it seems to have become a burden
and a trap. The reality of relationships and of life includes imperfection.
In asking about where to turn, you seem to recognize that you can
make choices about this new relationship. It sounds as though you
feel as though you must turn away from the possibility of authentic
connection with this wonderful person you have begun to see because
you do not want to reveal the imperfection of who you really are.
Turning away from developing this potential relationship may be
even more disappointing to you and to him than risking letting someone
really get to know you. Perhaps you need to get to know him to see
if you both want to take a chance on developing a genuine connection
with each other.
You do not specify what is "totally out of control" in
your life, but it sounds like you need help with the situations,
issues, feelings or symptoms that feel so overwhelming. I suggest
that you find a psychotherapist and work on on getting a healthy
sense of control of yourself and your life. You can check Treatment
Locator, or call 1-800-RENFREW to find the name of a therapist in
your area.
Good luck in becoming more comfortable with yourself and developing
the kind of relationships you want to have.
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