Fighting With My Weight

Question:

Since I was Thirteen I have been fighting with my weight. I eat all the time because I am depressed or bored or any reason I can think of. But then I have also been at the other extreme when I didn't eat anything for long periods of time. I once lost 87 pounds in one month from starvation. I don't know what to do! Sometimes I also eat everything in sight then vomit or take Laxatives. I know this isn't healthy but I really hate myself and can't stand the way I look I want to be thin again! If I don't start to eat then I don't get hungry but as soon as I start I can't seem to stop and it's making me miserable. I don't know what to do anymore. I have tried every diet out there including Phen/fen and it's not working because I don't eat for hunger I just eat or don't eat and I can't seem to stop this cycle HELP!!

Answer:

It sounds as though you have been through some of the extreme experiences of eating disorders. None of the diets or eating disorder behaviors you have tried have brought you peace with your body, with food with yourself or with life.

My first suggestion is that you seek professional help from a psychotherapist knowledgeable about eating disorders who can help you understand how and why you are using eating, dieting, and purging as coping mechanisms. (See Treatment Locator and Eating Disorder Organizations to identify local therapy resources).

I also suggest that you talk to a physician about your current health status, and the medical dangers of starving, vomiting and laxatives. Do not hesitate to go to an emergency room if you feel you are in an immediate medical crisis.

It sounds as though your struggles with your body and with food are taking up a lot of your energy. I have seen many people who were trapped in a negative relationship with their body and a frustrating, self-destructive relationship with food, gradually work themselves free of eating problems and develop a healthy positive relationship with their body. I hope you will find the patience, resources and support to redirect some of your energy to making that journey to health and self-acceptance.